It's an interesting thought process but to be clear...

I'm at work right now and I'm thinking about this in both modern and historical contexts. In comments, I'm aware that I'm probably not being very clear as I slip back and forth between the two.

It's also making me think of really fun short stories to write. Yippee!

But to your point, I think it can be a mitigating factor in culpability and I think we need to do better as a society in not pressuring people into relationships in the first place, teaching good relationship skills, ending shame and societal punishments (financial & otherwise) for fetting out of bad relationships, and making counseling more readily available for after failed ones.

As far as assaults go, like I said, it could be a mitigating factor more, for sure, but that's a whole new can of worms. And there's ALWAYS another option.

Leaving, temporarily or permanently.

An ultimatum for counseling.

Emotional abuse is still abuse. Report and file a complaint before you blow up and it's on you.

Rehab, as much of these dynamics spiral around addictions or drug/alcohol use.

Negotiation training.

Honestly, the list is endless.

Any one of those is a better option than sitting and stewing until you blow up and make the whole situation worse for you and your children if you hsve any.

Masculinity and "manhood" as an identity makes victims of men as surely as Femininity and "womanhood" does to women. It robs you if both your agency to act and the skillsets you need to protect yourself from exploitative people who will never think twice about doing so again and again and again .....because youre letting them.

Boundaries, people, are not a bad thing or a dirty word. Anyone who says different, no matter who they are, you best be looking at with a long side eye because if they'll abuse someone else they'll do the same to you, though maybe/probably in a different way.

Pay attention to what you're buying into.