It's a weird dichotomy, isn't it?

I nearly 52 years old. So, I'm old enough to have seen and been through some changes in gender relations.

I used to compliment men more, years ago. I still do for men in my more intimate circles. My dad, male friemds, the cousins when I see them, a few male colleagues, etc. I complimented Robert Starr here on Medium just last night. Looking through your comments, I see you've gotten one from Tony Dionys and Gareth Broom. I have complimented both of them, Gareth...multiple times.

Somehow, I doubt those compliments even registered for them. It sure did for Robert though.

Likewise, I get "complimented" often but because those compliments are so often backhanded, inappropriate, or a prelude to an unwanted come on, they don't really register for me. Men never compliment me in things I put effort into or care about. Women do, often. Men don't.

So what's going on there? Maybe it's a fair amount of the same thing. The compliments they do get don't register because there's a gaping absence of the ones they want to get.

I stopped complimenting random men in public about anything appearance-wise years ago, because of what generally followed, which apparently, I brought on myself asking for it.

Obviously, I can't speak for all women. Many have grown up with things just being this way. I'm just remarking that it hasn't always been this way. My dad and my uncle were even talking about how they never get complimented any more like they used to several years ago when we were all out to dinner. Only, they thought it was because they were older. They're both what you would call silver foxes. Still fit and trim, healthy, still out and about, grey but attractive. My dad is in his mid 70s and he can still put 50 miles on his bike in an afternoon. My uncle paints houses.

The degradation of the public Commons has had far reaching consequences nobody thought about back in the day, yeah? I can't imagine it will get better until we all start reinvesting in the Commons so there's a basic level of trust between people.