It makes you sound like a used car salesman trying to sell a lemon to a first time car buyer.

It makes you sound like you don't want a relationship, you want a fuckmaid and you're trying to obscure that fact by committing a type of fraud.

It makes you sound like a selfish and entitled shriveled up, second rate goods who doesn't know his warranty expired back in the 70s.

It makes you sound like a charlatan. A sheister. A rat faced bastard. A Ponce. A snake oil salesman. A rattlesnake. A Willie Lowmanesque, truly and deeply Low Man.