“It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.” — Mark Twain

Interesting points. That fear, though, is mostly from the things we face when we’re alone. These guys hardly ever do things in the light of day or around witnesses. They know it’s wrong. The most egregious acts are done in the shadows or covertly. There are also many ways men can undermine women other than beating them, raping them, or killing them (threatening to). So your idea of banding together like pigeons, while helpful in public situations, is not going to be a magic bullet to suddenly make safe space for women.

But learning to fight might. Situational training might. Making strategic use of surveillance and knowing surveillance laws might. Choosing civil suits rather than trusting misogynistic police might. And so forth and so on. It’s unfortunate that from birth we’re both taught and trained to trust men to protect us from the big bad world; to be nice so you’ll attract a mate who will protect you from the violent boogeymen who want to rape us, etc.

What a disappointment right? It’s so much more beyond that.

What if instead we raised our daughters to expect that somewhere somehow one of them is going to try to screw them over, so just expect it? And we spoke honestly and openly about the ways they do this? (Cause you know they do) What if we trained rebuffs so they’re natural and we don’t freeze? What if we didn’t hinge every aspect of our safety on which pony we hitch our wagon to? What if we always always always maintained a separate and secret means out, just in case? What if we treated marriage as a business too instead of always only pushing pretty princess wedding dreams? How would that change things?

I’m reminded of the Spartans. Sparta was a highly militaristic city state of ancient greece. However, and unconventionally unlike their neighbors, women maintained a place in society and we’re well treated, they were not chattel. Why? For one, they owned property. For another, any man marked by a woman would be ostracized as a coward. Women were given a sickle bladed ceremonial knife upon marriage. Men who beat their wives were slashed across the cheek — an unmistakable mark. So abusive men were not tolerated, coddled, or pandered to by anyone. You might as well cut off your own balls rather than hit your wife because you would receive no quarter.

I’m reminded of the Vikings. Again we have a fierce, warrior society where, unlike their contemporaries, women were treated well. Why? Well, for one women controlled the food stores via a locked cupboard. They wore the key around their neck. So if a husband didn’t want to go hungry after working all day, he didn’t show his ass. Further, if you wanted to go a viking, and you wanted your farm to still be there when you got back, your wife better not have a reason to leave you. Divorce was easy. That meant that men had to prove continuously that they were worthy of marriage. Lineage was important but it wasn’t tied strictly to paternal line. Women could own property. There are sagas that describe the tradition of offering women and children safe passage and sanctuary against an enemy attack. It was considered rude to not offer them a chance to leave before attacking.

So we have examples of societies where men do not measure their masculinity by how many or what caliber of women they can own, or by how many they can cheat, subjugate, or manipulate, or how much work and wealth they can get from them. Instead, men’s measure of masculinity is measured by how they earn the loyalty and respect of the women in their lives and their community.

Huge difference.

~

Your thoughts, again, ignore women who have been groomed their whole lives to normalize violence. They need special care for a while to be able to trust anyone, even pigeons. 😉

Overall good article.