Is it any worse than the depths of despair depression following what turns out to he unfounded hope?

That's hard to say. Seems to me it's opposite sides of the same coin. Either way, you've got emotional turmoil to work through and learning to live with how it changes your perception of the world after.

You said yourself, you didn't think the misogyny was this bad, and now you see it is. Have you begun to grapple with how that's your world view yet?