In fairness, there haven't been any gay men beating down his door to shoot their shot either. Not even the really drunk and desperate ones.

I think it's just Dave.

If you never leave your Mama's basement, no one knows you're available or looking for anything. Because you're not actually looking. You're sitting like a bump on a log.

And you can't count on your Mama to do it for you. How else would she be a martyr to motherhood? She'd lose all her war stories to compete with her friends about how lazy and useless and just like your father you are (universal). How could she get the necessary practice to be a cat hoarder in her elder years if she didn't have you sitting around like PigPen?

I dont think you've thought this through any better than Dave has.