I'm not saying it's a choice between one or the other. People have to make a living. Everyone understands that.

I'm talking about .en who use the "Provider" label to get out of the shared responsibility of any relationship. In this case, one's children particularly.

My dad worked too. Most of us had working fathers.

But my dad and other dads who care about being a father and having that relationship also didn't dump all the work of it onto my mother.

She did the bulk of the diaper changing and infant care, it's true.

But he made sure she had breaks when she wanted or needed them. When I had bad colic while my brother was teething, he soothed me so my mother could tend to my brother. See what I'm saying?

Dont act like we don't all know that there are some guys who act like fatherhood was something that was done to them deliberately with no input or action from them. There are some guys who use that label of "provider and protector" as an excuse to tap out of the work part of a relationship. Then, when their wife divorced them because she's tired of being alone raising kids, they act shocked that the kids choose mom over them. They were the fun parent, after all. Mom's a nag.