I’m intrigued about how you found it hard to leave. It’s the first time I’ve heard a man acknowledge the difficulty in leaving abusive partners. Women hear blame and shame about not leaving abusive men ALL THE TIME.

It’s infuriating.

People don’t get it. That the red flags aren’t obvious to everyone at first. They hide this behavior at first and love bomb you to keep you off balance. We’re conditioned that true love knows no bounds, blah, blah, blah. This behavior creeps in slowly after you’ve invested in the relationship and slowly gets worse over time. The unpredictability of it is disorienting and wears you down to the point where making decisions is hard.

And ultimately, if you want to leave a relationship for whatever reason your ability to do so peaceably, honorably, and with integrity depends solely upon the other party agreeing to end it too. Otherwise, it’s hard to leave because the door to do so isn’t actually open.

If they’ve been unpredictable and erratic, there’s just no telling what they might do. Steal your money and leave you destitute, wreck your credit, get you fired, turn your utilities off and close your accounts, have you arrested, stalk you, vandalize your car or other property, myriads of things to publicly humiliate you, start rumors, menace your family, threaten or start fights with your new romantic interest, steal your children, revenge porn, call DCS against you to have your children taken away, make false accusations against you in court, kill/maime you and/or your children.

Facing potential for any of the above, how is just getting up and walking away from abuse easy?

It’s not. It has to be strategic.