I'm attracted to donuts and coffee but a diet of nothing but donuts and coffee isn't good for me. I need variety in my diet to be healthy.

I'm attracted to two certain aesthetics in men. I did not marry a man who cultivated that aesthetic nor did I date many men of that aesthetic. Why? Because partnership and companionship, which is what I wanted, have got jack diddly squat to with how one looks or chooses to present themselves.

Jack diddly squat.

Don't blame feminists because you can't let go of dumb ass thinking or double standards. Feminism has never been about controlling other people. It's about reexamining inequalities and changing yourself so you make better choices as an individual on the social level and a group on the political level than the ones that cause so much grief, pain, and misery of going with the flow. You're not a fish caught helpless in a stream current. You're a man. Homo sapien. "Thinking" man. Why don't you try some of that thinking.

You choosing to stay trapped in double standards thinking is a you problem, Boo. It is not a problem of feminists of Feminism.

Secondly, not all women are feminists. Not all women can be feminists as being female does not automatically save one from authoritarian and supremacist type thinking which leads some people to be manipulative abusive towards others. Revel in it, even. No. We're (feminists) more exclusive than that.

So again, don't blame feminists or Feminism because you keep trying to date grifters because you're attracted to them.

If you truly embraced feminism, it would save you from that because you'd learn enough self respect to not fall for the same old schtick again and again and again. Your thinking would change away from the scarcity mindset that drives you, you'd learn to focus on what's truly important, you'd fortify your mind against propaganda, and you'd grow enough of a spine to not be so swayed by what other men think. Your world would shrink drastically and expand exponentially.