I'm afraid of alligators. I have nightmares about alligators. I have reason to because one time a gator nearly got my dog when I was living in Florida, my grandparents used to camp in Florida some and I heard stories about the precautions they took when they were there, and in college we went to observe a snowy egret colony and a gator swam right toward our raft and then submerged under it.

So I have a spot of Aligatoraphobia.

But I live in the desert now, so that's not a very rational thing to allow to take up so much real estate in my head.

This fear you're talking about...it's not based on nothing. I can't honestly say that it NEVER happens.

But.

Like that unreasonable focus on alligators to the point where stress nightmares/bad dreams will feature alligators, you don't want to create the situations you fear by overfocusing on it out of proportion to reality....you know?

Financial stability and savviness IS important, for all of us. Men and women. As long as there is money, that will be true.

But.

Not everyone wants to live a millionaire life. Or even a 6 figure life. Not everyone wants a McMansion in the burbs or an overpriced loft in San Francisco. I don't. It's just more to have to clean and maintain. It's money spent on prestige, that could be spent on enjoying life more. Doing things. Working less. Having fun.

There are more people out there who just want a decent enough, stable life than want the bells and whistles of peacocking their wealth in front of all the proles. Far more.

Ergo, this panicked run away fear and the anxiety it induces in young men is as silly as a desert rat worrying about alligators snapping from under the bed in your sleep. In other words, that's not what you're REALLY afraid of, is it? It's the expression of that fear, not the fear itself. Like, maybe what you're really worried about is not being good enough or something like that.

The way out of that one is to explore 'good enough for whom?'

If you can do that, honestly, that fear will subside.