If your wife does something you don’t like during the throes of passion you don’t live with it and accept it. What the hell, dude?

You pause right there. You tell her you don’t like that. You give both of you a minute to adjust. Then you move on. If she doesn’t disengage what she’s doing that you don’t like or is uncomfortable, you stop.

In your case, you most likely don’t have to worry about her not respecting your call to stop. Nonetheless, you say STOP. You have the same right everyone does to have your bodily autonomy respected. If you don’t get respected, and she refuses to stop, what was consensual has become an assault.

This is not rocket science.

Assuming you haven’t fallen into an assault situation, you talk about it afterward to make sure you’re both on the same page and can move forward. Why didn’t you like it? Did it hurt or was it the surprise? Did it hurt because you’re tender there or because she was too rough? Etc. Do you have a bad association with this activity?

If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it.

Being assaulted doesn’t say anything about you other than that you were in a bad situation and you trusted someone who did not honor that trust. It happens. It says about them that they are a piece of shit who doesn’t care about anything other than what they want when they want it. It says they don’t deserve you, your trust, or your intimacy, much less being entitled to it.

I’ll refer you to Salt 'N Peppa’s Let’s Talk About Sex for further education.

Okay, so either you got off in the weeds here a bit on a different tangent than sex or you need to rethink your world view through a little more. To be clear, in my comment I’m talking about a situation like ... your wife slaps your dick around and you don’t like it, not a situation like ... your wife brought home a chocolate Bundt cake instead of a lemon one and you’re miffed because she knows you love lemon. A situation like .... your wife demands to be on top so she can pounce up and down on top of you cause she loves to "thread the needle" but it makes you anxious because she weighs 200 lbs and stouter dicks than yours have been broken by such romps, not a situation like .... your wife insists you come to church with her for family cohesion even though she knows your an atheist and you hate church.

These are apples and oranges my friend.

You really don’t need to worry about what not wanting to suffer a broken dick might say about you. I can see why you might want to spend some time thinking about how you out your family issues behind your distaste for religion and what that might say about you.

Hopefully, this gets us on the same page. I’ll get the next bit of nonsense next chance I have.