If that was it, that would be one thing.

If he wanted out, for whatever reason and had handled it honorably, most of the women responding on this could at least respect that. That would be seen as sad, but you could see the long term benefit and none of us are promised gilden days all the days of our lives. Rain must fall.

But that's not what happened.

He tried to force her to change herself to meet his new demands that he did not have before they met.

That's fucked up.

It's completely possible to get with someone and then find that you can't make it work. That things you thought you could live with, you find to your own surprise that you can't. Happens every damn day. You have to end it. It'll break both your hearts but when that happens you have to be the one to step forward and end it for both your future sakes, even though it hurts like hell in the moment.

What you DON'T do is make a bunch of demands trying to change the other person. The problem is not who they are or that they're doing things you don't like. It's that you can't handle your feelpinions and are being a coward about doing what needs doing about it. You being a chicken shit and letting fear of being a 'bad guy' lead you to handle the situation in an infantile, blaming and shaming, morally questionable, gaslighting way. And so therefore, yes, it's the abusive way to wiggle out of a hard situation, not the grown ass man way.

So. She's not failing to move on. She's having to do the added labor of healing from the abusive way he handled the break up because his punk ass couldn't handle his feelings properly or maturely.