If I had to make a guess, I'd guess that you grew up in a manner that made you falsely equate love with pain and incapable of recognizing who's going to be to be a good partner for you.

There's no shame in that. Lot of us grew up within dysfunctional or abusive families. It warps our love maps. That's the harsh reality. It happens to women. It happens to men. We repeat, or go extreme opposite but also dysfunctional patterns until we get help to build better life skills.

Another sad reality? That help is not available to everyone. Lot of us will never be able to afford it or get there on our own.

For some of us, choosing solitude IS the best option, the only sane one. There's no shame in that either. We do what we have to do.