I went into it with a more realistic perspective. Mine was planned, or hoped for. I was in my 30s, so I was in a better stage of life.

I consider my experience to be sublime compared to a lot of women I know. It’s been good.

Still, a lot of what you say resonates.

I asked to be sterilized after because I only wanted one child and was refused.

Everyone started treating me like I was some stupid, doe eyed kid at her first day of kindergarten. Swear to God, I’m standing in front of a coffee vending machine one day juggling my wormy 4 month old and digging for change and a guy comes up to "helpfully" point out that the money goes in the slot.

I was refused pain medication or an evaluation after birth because I didn’t need it until about a month after birth. Guess what? There was, in fact, a problem. When I complained of bad back pain I believe their exact words were, "oh, everyone just gets used to that."

You stop getting invited to places because of the baby. No one wants to be bothered.

Strangers suddenly feel perfectly justified to get all up in your personal space and when it freaks you out, it’s because moms, especially new moms, are hysterical and high strung. Of course.

You do lose a lot of who you were. There’s no time. Your entire life gets wrapped up in infant care. As they get older, you’re like their personal valet or something. Always there but invisible. Not even worth a name. I’m A’s mom, not SC. That’s my name now. A’s mom.

If you say something in response to it, you’re a bitch being mean to kids and other moms who are just trying their best.

It’s incredibly isolating. I avoid other moms. I definitely steer clear of their husbands cause that’s a whole other side to this. The jealousy if their husband looks at you. And they’re right to be suspicious because more often than not that husband is going to try something because unlike their wives, you still take care of yourself (the benefit of only having one and mine isn’t grown). 🙄 Only, you’re the one that gets blamed. Of course.

You don’t have much money to spend on yourself for anything because kids are expensive.

It just never ends. Every minute thing is fair game for scrutiny and criticism. But nobody ever wants to pitch in and lend a hand. You have to really beg for that. Motherhood turns many women into beggars.