I think the kink point of view and consent to kink are both irrelevant to most men and also exasterbate their 'real' problem. And I believe failure of discernment here is and will cause more harm than good.

No shame to anyone who is, but most folks are not into kink. Or, if they are, it's only after having been with someone a good long while and wanting to spice things up.

Most folks don't want sex without connection. And yes, even men. I can agree that porn and media have tricked something into men's brains that is incongruous to the reality of sex and relationships and their own needs. Boy, you betcha, I'll agree that sex education is woefully insufficient across the board and also, more than kinda, wacked.

But most folks don't need yet more manuals on how to kink or how to get sexed.

Most folks are going to find alternative lifestyle tips will further isolate them in the end.

Most folks need to return to basics and focus on the right thing. Which is not getting sexed.

You don't put seeds in the ground before you've prepared your soil. You don't shingle the roof before you've laid your foundation.

If you want a bumper crop, it matters how you tend the soil. It you want a solid house that will protect you in a storm, it matters that you laid a strong foundation.

Basics.

Not cheap gimmicks looking for what to most people is little more than cheap thrills.

Simon may have had over 100 kink partners but I notice he vacations and travels alone a lot. His partner doesn't seem to want him around other than for sex. No hate and no shame, he seems to be happy and he seems to have successfully built the life he wants.

It's just not what most folks, average men and women, are saying they want.

You have to use the right tools for the right job.

Approaching random women in public with a mindset to get sex just ain't it, outside known hookup joints that is. But a hookup is not and never will be a fulfilling relationship.

If that's what you want, you have to stop trying to take, trade, swap, trick, hook, and win

And start cultivating.

I don't usually promote my own work, but as it happens, I've written two articles about interactions with rabdom men that describe the different mindsets.

The first one is in the Why you got Rejected series called Lack of Curiosity.

Simon read that one and commented on it. I think you will find his comment illuminating, as well as several ither young men who commented.

The other one is more recent. It's called Serendipity. Again, I think you will find the comments illuminating. Lot of middle aged guys who have talked about their loneliness and frustration had some things to say in that one. Also very telling.

We don't stay young forever. The goal should not be to teach young men how to game sex better. It should be to teach young men to not be sad lonely middle aged men because they are safe inside a well built house made of bricks instead of a shanty made of sticks or a house made of straw.

Especially with all the wolves of modern life howling at the door.