I think she was definitely out of line. Reading through the comments I think there's a lot of overreaction in there too.

Based solely off the essay itself, a response was obviously required. Firstly, I'd address the husband situation. You two have to be a team in how you're going to handle the kid or you're going to hurt the kid, hurt each other's and hurt the larger family.

It's shocking to me that people don't get this shit squared away beforehand, but maybe they just don't think about it. This is also one of those things men tend to dodge.

But you need to be flexible, because some of your plans on how to handle things just aren't going to work. So you have to adapt.

Then the TWO of you need to have a sit down with the larger family, him taking the lead with his side and you taking the lead with yours. Spell it out as a unified front.

If he will not do that, he will not stand with you in anything and you are raising that child alone. Make your choices and carry on. I sure as hell wouldn't have any more with him and would get out of that relationship, but that's me. Everybody has their reasons for their choices and that's fine, just make your choice so other people's choices don't break you.

Looking through the commentary though, it looks like you and MIL have an established history of her deliberately trying to sabotage you and your relationship with husband.

Well, that's a whole different ball of wax, isn't it? And now she's trying to use your kid to do it?

Oh HELL No!

I see you've also recently moved away from MIL. Can I ask, did you move away from Husband too?

Grands are weird sometimes. They didn't have skill sets to handle feelings and problems back then and it wasn't "polite" to anyway. It's common to hear of them playing out old hurts on children.

My mother told my daughter (at 4 years old) that she just couldn't understand why she (daughter) loved me (child's mother) so much. Then she went on to whine about how she never got that kind of devotion from me.

I had cholic for two months as an infant and she sent me away while she was pregnant with my sister because she had complications.