I mostly agree with you except the notion that it’s biological that the burden fall disproportionately to the mom. Sorry, I call BS. It’s a societal choice made by both men and women. It needs to change.
The only biologic requirement to women after birth is providing breast milk. That’s it. There is absolutely nothing else involved with taking care of an infant that a man is not biologically equipped to do.
Breast milk can be pumped and stored. We have formula. And bottles. There are options. The time requirement need not be extensive either as babies can start trying other liquid things and gravies around 5 months and soft mushy foods soon after that.
Men would be well advised to start learning how to care for their children as soon as it’s known they’re coming. Start bonding with them prenatally. Your partner will have bedside books during pregnancy. You should read them too. Talk to your baby prenatally so they’ll know your voice. When they’re born, hold them like a baby, not a football. Look at them and engage them. Smile and coo. Sing and move, keeping your voice calm and comforting and your motion slow and rhythmic. Keep the baby and the home clean and the supply pipe of care needs flowing. Make the commitment to keep up and be involved actively from Day One. It shouldn’t be an afterthought or a resentful reaction to a drowning partner’s stress response and bitterness from being ignored and isolated. You shouldn’t have to be asked, or begged but you should communicate. It’s not rocket science, but it is demanding and consuming.
Just remember, babies can smell your fear, so if you think your too incompetent to care for them, they’ll agree with you. Sadly, they’ll lack the life experience those first weeks and months to come to any other conclusion. So NO FEAR, be confident.
Men shouldn’t be leaving their partners alone to be stressed out and consumed by the relentless demands. Men saying it’s biological is a cop out to either excuse fear of screwing it up or cowardice to excuse caring more about what other people think of their masculinity than they do their own blood. If that’s the main concerns, don’t have kids in the first place, get a vasectomy so you (universal) won’t ever have to step up and be a real man.
