I kind of agree with you on the lack of and need for rites of passage. I don't completely agree with your assessment of it as I think women need this too, especially in modern times as they don't face death in childbirth like they did in times past. I also don't think they need be so severe as to be potentially lethal to be effective.

It's wrong of you to blame mothers or mothering for the angst men feel though. Personally, I always felt like the worst behaviors from men as you describe can from men who were ripped from their mothers too soon by other men, mostly their fathers to "toughen the boy up". At 3 or 4? You're barely out of infancy. It leaves them seeking what was stolen from them the rest of their lives.

Funny thing is, you look at guys who weren't ripped from their mothers right out of diapers and they're not the weak ones. They naturally started to drift toward more male things around the age of 8 to 10. They're emotionally stable and feel whole. They're the ones who have life long friendships, good self esteem, solid relationships with their partners, etc. because they weren't deprived of those early years of learning emotional literacy so they could be "tough". They tend to be very successful in life; not necessarily financially like the Musks of the world because you have to be a sociopath to be successful like that, but they grow up to become community anchors.

By the way, blaming women and specifically mothers is lame and self absorbed. You have no idea the mountains moms move to create a safe place for their kids to land and give them every opportunity possible in a world full of caprice and callousness. Show some damn respect. You think you would be better off not having had a mother who loved you and cares for you? You think you life would be so much better and you be less fucked up? Boy, you better think again because you would have been steamrolled without your mother to protect and nurture you.