I hear you. I understand you have suffered from racism. As a humanist, I oppose racism in all its forms, even the ones perpetuated by my own “group”. I stand against all forms of oppression. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I welcome you to try to keep the meme within the scope of racism as much as you can.

By your avatar, you seem young. Call it the voice of experience; it won’t go down that way because you cannot use a sexist term to effectively fight racism or vice versa. It just doesn’t work.

Being victimized by mysnoir is no excuse or justification for misogyny any more than being victimized by misogyny is an excuse or justification for mysnoir. It’s opposite sides of the same coin.

In a very real sense using “Karen” is being a “Karen”. I know me saying that angers you. Hear me out before you blow me off or respond.

I’m confident your first reaction to that statement was something along the lines of … black people can’t call the police to brutalize and kill white women like white women do to black people. And you’re quite right. You are.

Here’s the thing. The police are an enforcement arm of white supremacy. They are not the only one. Not by a long shot. Other enforcement arms can be just as violent to women from husbands/boyfriends to incels on a killing spree to mobs, etc. There are enforcement arms that can disenfranchise, silence, and oppress as well.

Maybe you think, so what? White women have it coming for what they’ve done to black people. You may have a point there. But, redirecting hate does not end hate. And here’s the thing with that. When hate is passed around, it eventually, inevitably, comes back around. When it does, it will not be directed at white women. It will be directed at women. It is as predictable as sunrise. You can bet that sooner or later “Karen” will be part of the hate speech found on some incel’s computer or manifesto after he’s killed a bunch of women. You can also bet they won’t be all white. It’s even possible white women will be a small percentage of those killed because of the intersectionality of oppression caused by patriarchy. You can also bet that MOC will be included if they’re in the line of fire as well as anyone who looks “queer". It won’t be any other way.

That’s why it’s punching out instead of punching up. That’s why it doesn’t effectively address a very real problem. That’s why it will cause more harm than it will ameliorate. And all women will feel it. The rage of patriarchy is always directed against women first because women are the largest group that must be subordinated in order for white supremacy to stand. It’s literally half the job of establishing and maintaining patriarchal structure as a whole.

I get that in the moment, it feels good. I do. I get the impulse to punch back. I share it in my own life with my own struggles of bias and oppression. I don’t always practice what I preach though I try to be honorable and consistent. We are all failingly human. We all struggle with ourselves and our place in the world.

So this isn’t me finger pointing and chastising. This is me saying I see you. I understand. But, look beyond the moment.

Words are tools. Tools can be used as weapons. We know this. So using that analogy, let’s visualize a new tool has been built and marketed. Let’s say this tool was made to handle a particular problem. If it’s purpose gets hijacked by people who have found a nefarious purpose for it like killing people and that becomes its most prevalent and recognizable use, does it really matter that wasn’t what it was originally designed for? It will always be associated with killing people. No amount of me or you correcting people about historical meaning or purpose will ever matter. Doing so is just viewed as elitist chatter. Words mean what they’re most commonly known to mean.

Any word with dehumanizing tones towards women, POC, LGBTQ+, or any other marginalized group will inevitably become slurs regardless of their original intent or purpose. They will cause harm.

Maybe you just don’t want to hear this from a white woman. Maybe you can’t hear it from anyone right now. That’s okay. Maybe someone else will. And maybe you will some day, maybe from someone else. That’s okay too.

If you choose to respond again, please know that I will read your words and weigh them. I will keep an open mind and do my best to understand your perspective. I will not respond again because I don’t want to chance this to turning into something ugly. So I will leave it here, with one final thought.

I am so sorry that woman at the pool treated you that way. You didn’t deserve that. You did nothing wrong. I wish I had been there to speak up for you and your companions, to stop it. I can’t change the past. I can pledge to keep working for equal treatment for all of humanity and particularly to not being shy or sparing in dealing with misconduct I see within my own “groups” of white and female. To show them the corrupting poison of their thoughts and actions. I wish you well.