How can you appreciate in someone what they do not appreciate in themselves?

You can't.

Sexuality is a highway. You both project it and you receive it.

What you project stems from within. It's an energy, a joyful energy that you cultivate within yourself and let shine from within.

Think like....a lightening bug.

It's the glow of a lightening bug that draws in other lightening bugs and then they flash back.

So. If you're not projecting, if you're not shining from within you won't be noticed.

Because sexuality isn't a one lane road. It's not an off ramp. It's not unidirectional. It's meant to be shared. It's meant to flow in two directions.

If youre not shining, it will be assumed, and rightly so, that you have no interest.

American men in particular have set aside joyful sexuality and sensuality in pursuit of performing an extreme interpretation of masculinity that is extremely off putting and NOT sexy at all (and certainly not joyful) based on the "expert" advice and content of other men who can't get laid or maintain a healthy relationship or sex life.

In doing so, you've cast aside one the best things you had going for you as though it was worthless and cut your noses off to spite your faces.

As it happens, ladt night I saw a TikTok by a young man (Italian) in L.A. that highlights exactly what I'm talking about. I'm at work and don't have the link because I watched it on my tablet and I'm only phone now. I saved it though as an article reference, in conjunction with man vs bear ideas.

At this point, I could write a damn thesis on man vs bear. That little viral kerfuffle revealed so so much.