How can I put this? It's so sweet and endearing right?
But it's like a creepy love song when you think it through. Like Every Breath You Take or that Staind song, Tangled Up In You, especially the "You're the pills that take my pain away" lyric.
Basically, he's offering to make himself her whole world. To be a love doll. To sublimate himself entirely to be what she wants. All for her loving him so he'll feel validated as a man.
Basically, he's offering to be exactly what so many men on the internet are demanding women need to be. And we've seen how that plays out.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE SEEN EXACTLY HOW THIS PLAYS OUT?!?!?!
And there's a reason for that.
It's because the only person types of people who find that attractive, long term are narcissists and sociopaths.
And that's because someone who really and truly loves you is going to have a very hard time maintaining feelings of affection for you when you comsistently make yourself a doormat for them scraoe their every whim against.
Someone who really loves you is going to love you for all of you. For how you challenge them too. They're going to love that parts of you that you hate about yourself and they're going to live you for your differences.
And that's why I want to smack him. Because he's clearly capable of very genuine and real affection, loyalty, and his heart's in the right place. You see that too, right?
But he believes he has no value, and so therefore worth, until he's been 'chosen'. His words, many a time. Which means he just wants to be loved. By anyone. Doesn't matter who. And that love will give him everything he feels is missing in that big void where self worth should be nested up all snug and tight his psyche.
Whicheans that all those promises he's making are fake. He's a blow up love doll looking for another blow up love doll (please don't confuse that with sex doll - not what I mean there). That hole can't ever be filled this way and that's a horrible burden of expectation to place on someone, a love interest and also including himself.
And that's why I want to smack him. Because he's setting himself for abusive relationships and he's a hot mess of low self worth.
He knows this about himself, he just thinks that romantic love will be a cure all.
If all the people on Medium, I think Gareth is in greatest need to have nice Appalachian grandma smack him upside the head to knock some sense into him and then make him a pan of biscuits. It's a thing.
