HEYHEY! Nigel!!

Fancy seeing you here. I hope you're well. Good question, and your definition works well enough. Let's go with that.

I suppose the standard should be up to each individual to a large degree. Generally, it's good to be open minded to new ideas, but not to the point where we're accepting things that are harmful to us or to others just because someone else has feelings about it. Opinions aren't facts. They could be based on fact, and they can be very hopeful. They can also be destructive.

For me, if an opinion violates a personal boundary that have set for my well wing and the wellbeing of my family, it's not worth entertaining. I can respect the other person's right to have that opinion, but I'm not giving creedence to it? Why would I? I've already thought about the issue enough to have given myself a boundary about it. If there's a boundary, they're not going to change my mind.

The second part of my evaluation is whether or not someone's opinion violates basic human decency. If it does, well....they can just fuck the hell right on off. I will not be entertaining their opinion. No way. No how. Nuh-Uh. Hell has not frozen over and even if it did, the answer is still no.

So, some examples. Second one first, cause it's easier to grasp. As I'm sure you're aware, my country (US) is currently experiencing a fascist uprise. Not the first time, probably won't be the last (sigh). There are folks, political folks, being all loud and proud with their opinion that the queer community should be summarily executed, shot in the back of the head, in the name of Jesus. I shit you not, these fools are preaching this shit every Sunday. Should their opinions be entertained in the name of being open minded? There's some guy on the internet who is of the opinion that women should be handed out to men by lottery so men can have sex and not be Incels. He says, "men have to take a bullet, you can take my dick for 10 minutes". Should I entertain his opinion, like Simon suggests, because the guy is lonely and Simon is close to Ukraine and so worried about a draft apparently? I think not. I will not entertain notions of slavery, sexual or otherwise and I don't give a rat's ass whose feelings it hurts. Just say no to the American Taliban and all that. I will also not be entertaining the notion that feminism has somehow failed men because the draft is still in place. It's not been used in 50 years, legislation has been passed that will make women eligible even though we're not required to sign up for selective service as of yet, and war is unfair to poor young men. Making it unfair to poor young women as well does not fix the unfairness and inequality of war. Making everyone eligible, no exemptions, with politicians who wage war being required to put their skin or blood on the line does. There'd be a lot less war, don't you think?

I agree that the draft is unfair. I passionately disagree with men's opinions on how to fix that fairness. Simon does not always understand the difference between being disagreed with because his opinion is markedly androcentric and being invalidated because he is a man.

Back to the first, an example. This one ties in to something another guy in the comments brought up, about circumcision.

As a liberal, I deeply believe in bodily autonomy. I had a daughter, but I decided to not know her gender. So, prior to her birth, there was a 50% chance or so that she was a boy. I had to think about that and circumcision came up.

I wrestled with this on two fronts. As a liberal who deeply believes in bodily autonomy I did not feel I had the right to circumcise, especially as I have rejected the religion that culturally 'requires' it. It's a mutilation. If female genital mutilation is wrong, then so is circumcision.

And that was where I landed ultimately. If Urchling had been a boy, she would not have been circumcised.

The other side was the consequences of that decision. Every decision we make in life has consequences. This one....uncircumcised boys are often mocked and shamed by their peers. As they mature, many women will not have sex with uncircumcised men. There are reasons for this. Men may not agree with them and it's probably less true, but they were valid reasons at one time and maybe still are in at least some cases. Nevertheless, that kind of thing lingers in the collective memory.

I would be subjecting my son to these social censures by the choice to respect his bodily autonomy over all else. He may have grown up to hate me for it.

But Urchling turned out to be a girl, and my burden of autonomy respect centered around ear piercing. I refused to lierce her ears as an infant/toddler because I don't have the right. And I took some flak over that, the idea being that it was toeture to wait till she would remember the pain of it rather than doing it when she wouldn't remember. Lol. People are weird and will share all of their silly and not thought out opinions with you whether you want them to or not. BTW, torture? Really? That one's not worth validating either. 😉

This turned long. Sorry, not sorry. Lol.

You're probably asleep right now. But have a good day tomorrow, if you see this.