Here's the fallacy and blindness in that thinking derived from media mostly.

In every movie and story told for the longest time, the "bad guy" wore a black hat, was a biker, a roughneck, was I'll of manner, and brutish.

So, we all know who the bad guys are and who the nice guys smare, right?

Same way we all know that all terrorists are Muslims, right? And that all Black people are drug dealers right? And that all Indians are thieves? You feel me?

Being a roughneck, or a biker, or a lumberjack is not predicated on you being unkind toward women.

The most unkind (toward women) people in the world are most often in a 3 piece suit or behind a pulpit.

So when you see women dating "bad" men, that's you're evaluation based on that bias of what "hat" a man is wearing.

That's not her evaluation. Sge made her evakuation in who's showing her an ounce of kindness and authenticity.

Repeatedly, women say this is what they want. Consistently, it is what they're choosing.

You'll also notice, that for the ones where the women end up hurt. The guy.... he's most often not a roughneck or a biker, he's the "nice guy". The biker could get sent to jail or prison and she'll wait for him most often so long as things were good between them and he treated her well (kindly).

The ones who don't? Well, that's what Yael is saying, they weren't nice guys. They were performing kindness. They were only interested in what she could provide to them, not her humanity or her as a person. They were committing emotional fraud, like the ipposite of a gold digger or the woman who just goes out with you for the free dinner and then sits there bored while you're desperately trying to make a connection. They were using her.

It's just the same. Only with women, the longer thrbguybis abke to keep the fascade going, the more likely the wimans is to be trapped with him via children, finances, or isolation, when otherwise she'd bail as soon as she saw him sans the mask. We also get gaslir about it a lot more compared to men who find themselves, through no fault of their own with a woman who's using them.