He didn't say serving others should be thrown in the bin.

He said you can't pour from an empty cup. He said somewhere along the line there needs to be a reciprocity of needs being met or you will eventually deplete, exhaust yourself, and then be of no use to yourself or anyone else.

He said the idealized version of masculinity inherently leads to this outcome, leaving men frazzled, isolated, and disconnected.

He's recognizing that we all need boundaries to protect ourselves, from other individuals and groups, of course, but also from the cultural narrative.