Great article. If forgiveness is too hard, you’re probably not ready for it yet and that’s okay. Everyone has to work through things in their own time. And you don’t owe anyone forgiveness. It’s also not wrong to want to wait and see how your white friends change before you just hand over forgiveness. I’m not suggesting that forgiveness has to be earned but a true change in behavior will prove sincerity on their part. I also wouldn’t expect a turnaround to be complete and perfect to be genuine either. It’ll be a long hard road for them and for you. And there’s a slippery slope of falling back into more familiar and comfortable thought patterns and behaviors that will have to be avoided.

So, ultimately, I think time and patience will tell the tale. In the meantime, don’t let yourself or anyone guilt you for your own emotional state. You don’t owe anyone anything. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your family. It’s absolutely okay to step back for a while.