Good article. I usually say to Urchling, "don't be nice, be kind. They're not the same thing.". But it's all the same idea you have here, more or less.

Culturally speaking, remember were from the evangelical deep south of the US where the word 'nice' has a particular unholy connotation, nice either makes you weak or it makes you a snake.

Yes Simon, even women should be regarded as rattlesnakes in some circumstances. 😉

Anyone telling you you need to be over about anything should.be ignored for your own protection. Cause.tjry are setting you up for some pain.