First off, realize your influence on them is limited and you alone cannot end misogyny by raising "better" men.
But. You can move the needle by pushing the following as much as you can and stop treating them like pampered little princelings.
1. Autonomy. They need to learn to take care of themselves completely. Don’t train your kids into gendered skills. Your daughter needs to know how to change a tire and check the oil levels in her car. Your son needs to know how to budget for groceries/shop for sales and repair his clothing.
Don’t gender his toys. He needs a teddy bear and a dish set too, even if you have to paint the dishes blue. It’s okay if he decides to play Miner 49er with his dish set.
Make sure he takes responsibility for his younger siblings and pets as much as is appropriate as soon as possible. Being aware of other people and learning we are all responsible for each other starts young.
Household rule Number One: "we don’t make extra work for beloved family members". Yes you will be answering questions about how that breaks down for weeks and months. Totally worth it. You learn to notice the work of others when you’re responsible for not piling on to it.
Tears are nature’s way of cleaning out your tear ducts, not a source of existential shame.
Stop shaming other women and girls. You can call this shit out too, when you see it on social media, in public, etc. Be performativly disgusted at the man who did it. Your boys will learn that high value women will ostracize him for this behavior and that no means no.
Respect his and his sisters' bodily autonomy as children equally. Do NOT let anyone else violate it either. Then that will be normalized. Seriously, make an appropriate fuss.
Teach him that his value is intrinsic, not extrinsic. Teach him that this is what he will be propagandized against by society, media, and advertising. He needs to know he is loved and loveable for who he is as a person, not what he provides or produces.
Teach him that who he is as a person matters and to have confidence in that.
There’s your primer and there’s your focus.
