Fair enough. But I wouldn't call that oblivious. I would call that adulting. It's not like a switch suddenly flips and you've miraculously got it all figured out just because the law says you're an adult at 18. It take a while to figure things out. We all stumble around and trip over our own selves when we're young.

Oblivious means: lacking remembrance, memory, or mindful attention. 2. : lacking active conscious knowledge or awareness.

The way you went about it is the best way to find someone. It's a shame we traded that for what we have now. It's clearly not working.