"Even if you know the man personally, you cannot do this work for them. They have to be willing to change.
Men in general? Absolutely not. It's an exercise in futility. They do not want to change how they see themselves.
If you listen to what they are saying, it's this:
We want women to be nice to us like they used to be. We want women to have sex with us and manage all of our emotions and relationships for us like they used to. They're angry at us, for some inexplicable reason and we don't understand why. We don't feel appreciated and respected as men anymore. We want things to go back to the way they were, when we could be men (as defined by traditional gender tropes) and it didn't make us the bad guy.
Nowhere in there is an acknowledgement for the ways in which the traditional gender tropes have harmed women. Or that it is the cause of their harm. But women are because we're not nice to them anymore and are turning away from them.
Nowhere in there is an acknowledgement that women have also ALWAYS protected and provided for their families, just in different but equally important ways. You need more than money to survive.
Nowhere in there is an acknowledgement of the value of women. That's still conveniently left out because it's all about you men.
Nowhere in there is an acknowledgement that physical strength is not the end all be all. There are many measures of worth, they're all arbitrary.
Nowhere in there is a pledge to stand with women for once, against these few men and women who are actively stripping our rights and asking us to now die on behalf of the state so there will be more soldiers for their upcoming resource wars. Wouldn't believe you without evidence of seeing it anyway. Men tend to look after their own interests first and always.
Nowhere in there is a plan to redefine masculinity outside of violence and domination.
Nowhere in there is any kind of mobilization to parent/teach/coach little boys differently.
Nowhere in there is any kind of redress dealing with how religion, particularly the Abrahamic faiths perpetuate this nonsense. Cleaning up purity culture BS and ousting all the pedophiles instead of protecting them would be a good start. We're banning Harry Potter books but where's the outrage against and ban of that book started purity culture? Or The Secret? And which ones have done the most actual damage to society and gender relations? It wasn't Harry Potter.
Men aren't asking for help. They're asking to return to the status quo so they don't feel bad. They're asking us women to return to absorbing their violence, which is the natural product of domination --it would be the same the other way around-- so that they and society don't have to. They're asking to be appeased. Again.
