Doesn't matter if your disability was known or not.

Also, no one is saying he didn't do enough just because he didn't do laundry. You realize, people are talking generalities. We don't know your dad personally. But you bringing him up makes him a stand in, just like when I broufjr my dad up. It's not personal.

The point is that marriage vows don't really allow for gender essentialist nonsense. If one insists on following gender essentialism to the letter, then one is breaking their oath. You don't get to tap out of what needs doing to take care of your kids, being dead weight, while the other parent carries your lazy ass or is struggling or sick or just needs a break.

If your dad didn't do that, then that's great. It's not about the laundry, per se. It's about a general tendency amongst many men to weaponized incompetence.