Couple of things.

1. There's nothing wrong with stoicism, when you do it right. Pop-culture stoicism is the problem here. It's a shady facade of the real thing. More people, men AND women , would benefit from learning and practicing some legit stoicism. That takes time, reflection, diligence, and dedication.

It's also not a bandaid or a balm, but a way of life.

2. Also nothing wrong with stepping away if you need to. You can't pour from an empty cup. It's good that you recognize this and are taking care of yourself. Speaking for myself, I appreciate the willingness to stay true to the goal of parity. I don't think many of us realized, when we started this venture exactly how longz arduous, and difficult the road would be. Or how much anger there would be, in others who don't want parity attacking us all the time, in our opposites who do but are not perfect in their end of it to our disappointment and (sometimes) harm, and in ourselves. That doesn't mean the goal is a mistake or that it's not worth it in the end, it means pacing ourselves is smart, necessary, and prudent.

3. Thirdly, a lot of what you said really resonated, particularly this passage right here:

This is exactly what women feel. This is exactly our experience. This is exactly what living someone who hates you as a part of their identity does to women. The othering, the disregard, the dismissal, the erasure, the demonizing, the shaming, the dirtying.

Now you know.

I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, or to imply you're getting what you deserve, or any of that. It's not about that.

It's for when and if you return. Now you have empathy and some depth of understanding. It'll help. It's sad that you had to experience it yourself in order to truly empathize rather than just being able to comsider yourself in someone else's place. But nobody can ever honestly promise someone else that growth won't be painful and that IS usually the way it goes for all of us. Most often growth is also painful.