Coming back to this because I left some thoughts out.

Everything is always all or nothing with men. You're still not getting me, so let me take a different swing at it.

Imagine there are two copies of Vitruvian Man in front of you. One was made by da Vinci, the other is a facsimile that upon close inspection is full of flaws. Which one has value? Which one do you want?

I'm not saying men should altogether abandon comcepts of being a provider and a protector. Those are good things.

I'm saying they should accept a crap facsimile of it that is ultimately cheap and worthless.

I'm saying there are multiple avenues to provide for and protect someone. They are all necessary and valuable.

I'm saying men are not the onlynprovisers and protectors of children, women, men, the elderly, community as a whole and they never have been. If men want to be respected for being providers and protectors they need to give respect to all acts of provision and protection.

I'm saying there are some aspects of provision and protection that are all or nothing. You don't get to choose based on status symbology. Example, most people would starve to death or suffer malnutrition on a meat only diet. Are you The Provider™ you think you are for facing the perils of big game hunting if that diet and that alone would inevitably lead to your deaths? Aren't you both providing?

If a mother does in childbirth and you feed and clothe the baby but do not teach it language, have you provided adequately for that child? I mean, yeah, you get to check the main The Provider™ check boxes, but after a certan point, feral children lose the capacity to learn language in any meaningful sense. Tarzan was fiction. Real life doesn't work out that way. Babies need to be babbled at. They need a lot of physical contact. They need a lot of interaction and play. All of that has to be provided.

I'm saying an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Most meaningful protecriomnin your life doesn't come from standing sentinel against jackels and sabre toothed tigers. It comes from consistent and dilogent tackling of all the mundane stuff. Staying clean, keeping a clean and clear livinf space, dressing appropriately for the weather, maintaining a healthy diet, keepinf adequate levels of physical activity, not letting vices run away with you, monitoring your environments for hazards, accountability to and for each other, etc. This is the most significant work of being a protector.

So gle bifgesr thing my dad did as a protector was to give me two of military manuals that included hand to hand combat and situational awareness in combat situations, including how to kill someone significantly bigger thsm you after I was sexually assaulted as a teenager. There was also an apology for not ever thinking about it and practice. I've been lethal since I was 15 years old. And that has saved me from two attempted rapes. And no, I've never killed anyone. Didn't have to. But I would have if it had come to that.

The best way to protect women is to teach them to protect themselves and to teach boys and young men to stop assaulting them. Because sentinel type protectors or guards are never around when the assaults occur, and at some point all that guarding makes you a prisoner.

I'm saying men need a healthier, more natural relationship with everything it means to be a provider and a protector so that, among other things, it doesn't become this super heavy, unrelenting burden they resent and they are excluded as being worthy of provision and protection too. That bit is important. No man is an island.

That's what happens when it's an empty or severely limited title for men only. It separates you from everyone else. Can't you feel that separation?

Set aside those cockamamie ideas of The Protector & Provider™ as this unearned mantle of pride and step into the joys and strength of mutual provision and protection lads. It'll change your whole world. It's not hard. Just open your eyes. See.