Check out Shannon Ashley's article that published today.
You say women are automatically believed when they say they've been abused. I'd like to point out two things.
That's only because we raised hell about it for decades. We brought awareness and abuse into the light and out of the shadows. Kicking and fucking screaming, I might add.
Secondly, it's clearly still not universally true. Often it comes down to the police force and whether or not there is pressure, training, and focus on DV. Whether or not they want to deal with it, in other words. It's likely the same police who ignores you, are ignoring women who claim abuse as well. Unless... the damage is so bad they literally can't (like, somebody needs the hospital). Whereas if you were to live elsewhere, under the jurisdiction of a police force with that focus and training, you would have gotten a different result.
Maybe instead of blaming women for "social advantage" ... that we fought tooth and nail for because it certainly wasn't handed to us and hasn't always been that way, if men stood with women to end abuse, period, it wouldn't falsely seem so one sided.
Same thing with family court. Men always blame women for how family court plays out and say it unfairly advantages women. In reality, the advantage is for the children. If men were more involved in the day to day caretaking of their children, custody and child support would be more balanced. But they want that "Provider" title. They have to have it to "be a man". They want it so bad they fail to see that if you're changing a diaper, you're providing for your child. If you drop your kids off at school and pick them up, you're providing for your child. When you fix them a snack, make their lunch, help them with their homework, read them a bedtime story, etc, you're providing for your child.
Men choose an empty title for the status amongst other men rather than the relationship with their kids that would make them getting better custody arrangements "the best interests of the child" in family court. Then they blame women.
Don't get me wrong. I'd love to see more balance in these areas as well. Moms need a break. And you're talking to someone who's dad , if my parents had divorced, would have gotten equal custody or we would have been split up between the parents with them getting full custody of some of us kids. I had an involved dad and grandparents. My Dad and my grandparents changed my diapers, took me to work with them, read me stories, packed my lunch, fixed my hair, etc.
None of the kids I grew up with had dads involved in the day to day. So I know what's involved, and I know it's rare. I also know I have memories, even from very early childhood of spending significant time with them. I also know what a difference it makes when dads do the daily things too.
It's not women's fault men make this choice or feel pressured to make this choice. It's primarily coming from the need to impress other men. We've been begging and pleading for more help for decades now too. Men simply won't do it.
