But do you reduce her down to nothing more than a set of legs? Do you go out of your way to make sure she knows you're having sexual thoughts about her?
Or do you keep it inside your own head where it belongs? Because she doesn't need or want to be co-opted into your ego stroking, right? It's weird. It's never not going to be weird.
Hey. I've got eyes. They work just fine, more or less (I'm developing some age related presbyopia). I see hot guys and guys who maybe aren't stunning (based on my personal preference) but are put together very well -- they know how to dress. I like what I see when I do. Sometimes a guy will walk by who has not skipped his glute and lower body workouts and he's out showing some skin and I'll think, "ooh. Baby got back!"
Pull up my home page and go read Serendipty. You'll see. It's not uncommon at all for women to have these random sexual thoughts.
But having g sexual thoughts is not sexualizing thr man we have them about. It's not objectification. Because, broad strokes, we still see the whole person and we're not forcing those random thoughts down their throats whether they want them or not to validate our own egos.
That's where the objectification lies.
When it comes to men objectifying women....look, nearly every guy does this, especially when they're younger. But that doesn't mean it's a habit. A lot of men grow out of it. But at some point in time nearly every single one of you has done this to some woman, some where, some how.
No hate. Honestly, I blame marketing propaganda, not men. When you see so much of it in media and whatnot, and it's normalized the way it is...how would you know it's not going to land the way all that media has told you it will land except through the school of hard knocks?
So I don't blame men. I do think men as a while need to become.more aware and savvy of the influence marketing propaganda has on us, particularly in the US where there is next to no regulation and we are bombarded with it from the time we are very young.
As I said, it hit women first and very hard. Still is, but I do think we're getting better at protecting ourselves from it, broad strokes (there's still far too much plastic surgery and eating disorders ate on the rise again).
But women as a market share are about tapped out and you can see companies turning more toward men as customers. You guys are woefully unprepared.
The reason why I want more men to be aware of it is 3 fold:
1. I don't want to see you go through what we women went through. It sucks.
2. I want you to seek out and develop strategies to protect yourselves and your sons (whether you're mom or dad). An ounce od prevention is worth a pound of cure and our corporate overlords are NOT going to give up their profit shares because their advertising is hurting people.
3. I want you to be aware enough that you see what this has done to us and stop participating in it. It's been hurting us for half a century and more. You've been blind. It's time to open your eyes and make some decisions about what kind of men you want to be instead of having them be made for you by corporate marketing strategies. You can be thr providers and protectors you claim you are, or not. Your choice.
I think more women are better versed in men's struggles than men are women's. I don't think this is because women are inherently better or good or whatever. I think it's a natural offshoot of motherhood. Moms advocate for their sons as much and often more than they do their daughters. Broad strokes.
I think the bigger problem is men and women often don't agree with the solutions or the particulars. That doesn't mean you're failing to see the problem though. The draft debate is a good example. To men fairness is to make women draftable too. To women fairness is to eliminate the draft (or selective service) so nobody is gettng drafted. I see that time and time again in those discussions. Divorce is another. Men want more fairness but women point out that thr men are agreeing to custody and child support arrangements they don't want before they ever stand in front of a judge based on a lawyer's advice. But they won't hire a lawyer who will adequately represent them to their interests. So how are the courts unfair. The court didn't make the decision, the guy didn't advocate for himself. Again, broad strokes.
Finally, women are under constant pressure. It's just different pressure. So yes, we understand pressure and how wearing it is when it never let's up. Trust me, we are VERY well versed on that.
We want less pressure and less for the opposites. (this basically boils down to the more progressive ranks of both men and women, and all thr other ranks) because all this pressure creates disharmony, resentments, and discord.
We all see it. Do we not?
