BTW, I’ve had 3 bosses who thanked me for getting rid of undesirable customers with non-confrontational savviness. I got a raise in one job and an ongoing 1st schedule choice on another. I would often get bonuses for dealing with difficult customers.

A friend of mine once got $100 tip off a $30 or $40 ticket from a neighboring table because some lout’s behavior toward her was making his wife uncomfortable. She often would get a 50-100% tip off whatever the ticket was when these instances arose.

I can also tell you of places I worked years ago where it meant losing your job if you responded to abuse. So I started looking for a better job and left as soon as I found one. These aren’t career jobs so it’s not like it will take long if you start applying for a better place to work. Those places had gone out of business or weren’t doing very well pre-pandemic. I doubt many of them survived.

You also don’t owe anyone blind allegiance forevermore, even for a paycheck. Having to protect an income in the short term doesn’t mean accepting abusive behavior long term. Do what you gotta do, but react against abuse one way or the other. Don’t stay there and be passive any longer than you have to or the work and abuse will continue to pile on. The only people who stay in places like that long term are ones who don’t care about success or about themselves or who think they have no choice.

That last one is just false thinking 99% of the time.