Bit you have said..."if women..." multiple times.

Groups are made up of individuals.

So you are laying it at the feet of women because you feel left out....after you have refused any opportunity to join in because "you have no confidence and you're shy".

Do you not see? For real??

You want wimen to engage with you in order to get xo fidence vut you will not meet with them or engage with them in order for them to do so because you're shy and you feel awkward.

You hobble yourself and then blame women because you can relate to angry men who wgine about their loneliness while they're treating women like crap.

There no way to square that. And that's got nothing to do with the past and I see how you deflected that point. That's here and now. It comes down to covetous thinking.

You have that someone to love who loves you back. You've got purpose and baseline confidence you swire up and down would change everything.

But it's still not enough.

I wish I could say I'm surprised. Likely, it won't ever be enough. Because your belief dynamic about confidence is not in keeping with reality. The best you can do with a belief like that is leech confidence off someone else. But it will never be your; sure you'll feel boosted for a while but it won't last. Then, that confidence will evaporate the moment she's not there to prop you up. What then?