Big part of the problem there is that you start off as strangers nowadays. You met off the internet.

Used to be, your options for the most part was the people you grew up with. You already had a baseline history with them, even if you didn't interact with them much. You knew them enough to know their temperament, you knew their people, you knew if they were well thought of or not, you heard things. You knew who'd they'd dated before and you knew what the fallout of that was, more or less.

Basically, you knew if you could trust them or not, and how far.

But dating today, it's like both sides of the equation want that instantaneous level of trust with no shared common history to back it up. Then you get blamed if it goes bad because you made "a bad choice".

Bullshit.

It's a complete gamble now. You got a bad dice roll. There was no real discernment of choice involved at all. You're figuring out what you should have known to start with as you go along, kissing frogs. People are getting hurt because of it.