Because you're hyper focused on "being chosen". By what you yourself have said, you just want to be chosen in order to feel validated and as though you have worth.

And here's the part that's not clicking for you that functions as a turn off for women....

It doesn't matter by who. Just a woman. Any old woman will do.

When women do this, we call them pick me girls.

They'll turn themselves inside out, do anything, for the chance to be chosen. Desperate to be chosen. They've attached their sense of self worth to whether or not a man chooses them. Doesn't matter what man. They just want to be chosen. Do you see the problem yet?

These girls never get chosen but they do get used a lot. They've set themselves up for failure. Time and time and time again.

If pick me boys were a thing, I'm thinking you would be one.

The trick to it all is mutual selection. That's what you're missing.

When you're walking around the dating scene with the attitude of "I just want to be picked", you're stating that it doesn't matter to you by whom. But why do we invest so heavily in relationships in the first place? Sure security, companionship, sex, all the things. But if we're truly thinking long term vs short term, we want somebody to share our life journey with. That means we need someone who wants to be with us, particularly us, long haul. You don't get that sense with someone saying, "I just want to be chosen (doesn't matter by who)."

And woman who chooses you is going to want to feel like you're choosing her too, particularly her over any other woman you could have had. Otherwise, she's never going to feel like she matters to you, secure in the relationship, or like she can afford to stop looking over her shoulder for the next hot young thang to come along and destroy her whole world.

Because you just want to be chosen. Doesn't matter by who, or for how long. You're looking for validation you don't need because in truth, what you seek is a mirage. You need validation that is real but you'll never find it looking for it the way you are.

That's why pick me girls get exploited so much. They just want to be picked. Doesn't matter by whom.

But men who are truly looking for someone to share their life journey want to be simultaneously chosen too. It matters, the person who chooses them. They don't want someone who's going to bail when things get rough or to just be a paycheck or what have you. They'd never feel secure in the relationship if they don't matter and are interchangeable. They could never stop looking giver their shoulder for the next hot young stud with a fatter wallet to come along and destroy their whole world. Because she just wanted to be picked. Doesn't matter by who. She's looking to have her existence as a woman validated. She wants a mirage that temporarily makes her feel better about her wounded inner child.

So even though she does all the things that make her attractive to me, she's unable to lock down a long term relationship. Why? Because she wanders through the dating landscape bleating like a wounded animal instead of becoming and maintained by a safe harbor for a potential mate. In her case, because men don't have the reproductive cost burden that women do, there will be a line of men who stick around just to have sex and then dump her immediately after she starts to bore them or they have a real shot with simeone else.

In your case, you'll get some of that too, but you'd also have to convince them that the sex would be pleasurable if they stayed around even that long enough for that and women don't have the virginity fetish men have. Otherwise, they'll just avoid you.

Because you're not choosing them. You're choosing to be validated. By anyone. Doesn't matter who.

Get it?