Because there's nothing wrong with what we find attractive.

A lot of these terms that get kicked around are overly ambiguous. In other words, they mean different things to different people.

You used the word passive. To you that might mean sexually. That wouldn't work for.me because I'm not a Domme and have interest in that scene. No hate to those that do. It doesn't automatically translate to wanting a dominant man because that's the same thing, still part of that scene I have zero interest in. If you pull my hair or slap me around, as described in the video by the porn fetishist, I'll break your goddamned nose.

I might say I appreciate leadership qualities. That doesn't mean I want to be led around by the nose all the time or that I want to rest in my femininity all fuckinf bored to death all damn day. Also, for me, leadership is not about dominance either. Leadership is an act of service. Ted Bauer wrote an article recently about friends of his getting drunk at a baby shower and bemoaning why men even had to go to those things. Last baby shower in the family I went to was a work party. The guys put baby furniture together and took care of as much as they could. We gals rearranged and stocked up. Why? Leadership.

Everyone is attracted in confidence. That's just self assurance about your qualities or abilities. It's belief in yourself. And that makes sense. Why should anyone believe in you if you can't believe in yourself? How's that supposed to work?

But confidence isn't about laying. It's also not about bravado or brashness. It's not a performance. The best markers of confidence are openness and it's quiet.

Also, you can be the shyest guy in the world who has a hard time talking to women. Even so, if you're confident about your Dungeon Master skills or Dungeons & Dragons parties or ability to look good in a fae costume that will come through if you talk about it. In other words finding confidence attractive and wanting to see confidence is not the same as demanding a man be confident with women.