Backwards and incorrect.
First off, it's not that opportunities to be attractive on social media and dating apps don't exist. They do. But it seems like, because men are attracted to physical aspects primarily and anything else secondarily if at all, they're incapable of or just too unversed to see it and do anything with it.
I'll give an example. On most dating apps, there's a lot of pictures of men holding up fish. Usually, half their face or more is hidden behind the fish. For men who are "ripped", their pictures more often than not, are them looking in the mirror to flex and their cellphone is covering up their face.
Why do y'all do this? It's so damn sad. I can't even.
What the fuck, here we go...Both are extremely unattractive and it hasn't got a damn thing in the world to do with how you look.
Presumably, the first one is popular amongst men because it's supposed to show that you can provide. 🙄
There's not a woman in the world worth her salt that's not going to look at that pic and think "he's flesh trading". I was hanging out with a friend once who nearly made me spew my coffee all over her when she said, and I quote, "that poor sap wants me to trade all my lusciousness for a panfish that's too small to make one single meal when I could get better for myself because I know where to fish for panfish."
It's true. Looking at the pic, this was not a good spot for panfish. Obviously.
That second picture screams one thing. Self absorption. It's true this guy probably will get more hook up responses, but that's because he's made himself disposable. This is a guy you sow some oats with, not someone you invest in. No woman worth her salt is going to proudly take this guy home to mom and dad, friends, or family and show him off. He's just somebody to scratch your itch with and then move on. Why? Because if you were with this guy for more than a minute and wanted to get your jiggy on, you start strutting your stuff....and he's still going to be flexing in the mirror and admiring himself. He won't even see you. Or anything you do for him. Or anything about you. This guy is a narcissist; that's the story his pic is telling you.
Pics aren't just digital photograohic recordings of an object.
They capture a moment in time and tell a story about that moment.
If you want to be attractive to women, you have to learn how they see the world and tailor your approach to what attracts them, not what attracts other men. Unless of course, you're gay and that's actually what you want.
Far too often, men present themselves based solely upon what other men find attractive and then blame and shame women for not being attracted to them.
We never knew you were looking for us. Couldn't tell.
Women present themselves to men based on what men find attractive. And we all more or less know what that is. Neither (gender) side has been pulling any punches about what they find attractive and what they don't. There's no obfuscation going on.
Yet men routinely still present themselves on these dating apps like they're looking to date another guy, not a woman. And that's why the failure rate or swipe rate is so high.
To your last point, your thinking is backwards here. It's male to male attraction thinking too.
You don't have to be attractive to get a woman's attention and then proceed from there. You're putting your cart before your horse a bit here.
What you want to do is be attractive in the process of getting her attention. That's going to come down to perceptions of threat and safety, sparking curiosity, signalling openness and interest, respecting others' humanity, and just basic socializing.
Once again, men by and large are conducting themselves, with their body language, affect, facial expressions, etc as though they are trying to impress other men.
If you're actually trying to get a date with a woman, you should not be surprised when it doesn't work and she moves on or turns you down pretty quickly. She's going to look at that sullen, standoffish, tough guy persona and think, "ugh. Imagine waking up to that attitude every day." She's gonna think the juice isn't worth the squeeze there because you're too much work, a hot mess, or a trainwreck looking to disturb her peace.
Your interactions, behavior, affect, facial expressions, and body language also all tell a story. What story are you telling? Is it one that is attractive to the person you'd like to be attracted to you, or someone else?
