As usual, spot on. But also missing some logistical realities.

I agree women should take 50%of the responsibility of communicating. But, the vast majority of them do.

I disagree with you in that men take their 50% of responsibility on communicating. The vast majority do not. It’s often like pulling teeth to get them to talk at all. Other times, when they do on dates, it’s a stream of self promoting bullshit because they’re trying to sell themselves or neg you into proving your worthiness. It’s rare to find a guy who knows how to just be, unless he has no interest in you romantically.

Let’s face it, dating is more about peacocking than it is about getting to know someone, for both men and women. If that weren’t true, there wouldn’t be so much talk about "red flags" as cues to recognize false behavior and lies.

I hate dating. Always have. I’d rather just hang out in a group situation or public place than date.

But, taking your example situation...let’s say I do exactly that on a dating profile. I actually do enjoy hiking, so that actually happened. I match with someone, we chat, he asks me to go hiking and I decline saying, "I’d like to get to know you better first before being in isolated areas with someone I barely know. Safety first, hope you understand." Clear and concise, right?

So he says he gets it and then we agree to meet formally for coffee and if it goes well we’ll find something else to do.

So far so good. Coffee goes well and he asks if I’d like to go for a walk in a park and suggests one I’ve never been to because it’s close. He says it’s his favorite and he goes there all the time. I agree, so I get in his car and we go to the park. I was new to the area and didn’t know my way around yet.

When we get there, it’s pretty much deserted. I’m alone in a deserted area with a guy I just met. After having clearly articulated some boundaries.

And here we have the logistical glitch to your statement. It assumes too much. It assumes men are equally as communicative. They aren’t. It assumes a shared weight to language and that one party isn’t parsing language technicalities with nefarious intent to off-foot you. We’re on a "walk" in a public park not a "hike" in the woods. It assumes that boundaries are both equitably understood and equally respected. I have to laugh at you here because men routinely regard women’s boundaries as starting "negotiation" points. They seem to think they’re being cute.

Men need to step up and handle their 50% and stop playing games they learned from internet dating "gurus" and influencers.

In our theoretical situation (that actually wasn’t), I walked away from the date and made me it home okay. The guy in question got all huffy and accused me of grifting him for a free meal (he insisted he pay when I pulled out my wallet—plus, it was a cup of coffee) leading him on, and being crazy (that old chestnut) over the coarse of a few days before he undoubtedly found another match and left me alone.

This guy was just confused, indoctrinated maybe, or just stupid. He did seem genuinely flummoxed that his "technique" was such a huge fail. He also genuinely seemed to believe that I was the unreasonable one. They just really don’t get it.

I made it home, but I could have just as easily been found in a ditch. Just like Sara Everhard. After doing everything reasonable to keep myself safe. Urchling could have been orphaned.

We don’t seem to have a shared reality or respect anymore between the sexes and dating. To men, it’s a game, mostly a numbers game but also a game of engineering situations to push clearly stated boundaries and comfort zones. Aldo, a game about racking up points. To women, it means possibly not coming home alive.

Are there nefarious women jerking men around on the dating scene. Sure. If this is it, if this is how it works, then you either game or be gamed. But, they’re not killing the men.