And when you're playing games with someone, or following strategies to gain something from them, you're not respecting yourself as a dynamic human being worthy of being known.

So why should they respect you when you're hellbent on disrespecting yourself first?

Now you're just insisting that they be some kind of way, perform some validating role in your life for you, just so you can be okay with yourself. Which might temporarily be a balm, but it won't work long term because you're still disrespecting yourself.