And render the fat or peoperly dispose of it and clean and maintain the pan too (cast iron skillet). And crumble up the leftovers and properly store for a dinner salad in a day or two.

At some point, what's he doing besides eating your bacon.

The dog will do tricks for bacon and at least entertain you and show some gratitude.

Is he at least as much of a boon as the dog?

Jesus. See how low the bar is? That's low. And they're still failing.