An option: don’t make father’s day about him. De facto, you are both parents. Since he’s not stepping up, I’m gonna bet that you’re doing most of the “dad” things. You should be recognized for that as well. Being a Dad doesn’t actually require a penis. It’s confidence, and growth, and learning to ride a bicycle. It’s being mindful, taking responsibility, and learning to be brave. It’s rough housing and building.

Im in much the same position as you, a single mom who’s partner bailed out on all of it. We recognize both days and I am the honoree in both which is as it should be since I do both. It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose, it isn’t for us. Father’s day we try something new, my daughter’s choice. She learned to skate and ride her bicycle on father’s day.

I know there will be comments /worries that that’s taking something from him. But the reality is, you’re not taking anything he values. If he did, he’d be there. Sad reality is men always take care of what they value. It sucks that so many men don’t really value their families but it’s liberating as well. Once you come to terms with that fact, you can stop throwing effort after foolishness. And that will open the door for so much more of the good parts of life.