Also pretty clear that when given the choice, Dave did exactly what I "falsely accused" him of in a third party sense.

He validated your husbands emotions and emotional actions but questioned yours as valid. You "have no fact", you're just being emotional and jerking him around.

Even though what your husband did was exactly the same thing. He felt some kind of way over his perceptions of some random event and then took it out on you in a degrading, unloving, emotionally abusing way.

And there's that cognitive dissonance. It's ALWAYS okay when it's thr man's feelings because those are known hy them to be "facts" but then they then around and use our feelings, justified or not, as a cudgel to beat us down with.

And then call us women crazy for correctly seeing and perceiving these interactions across the cultural zeitgeist as a gender animosity or a type of hate of women.

If it's not, then why the double standard?