Almost a good article. Emotional abuse can affect anyone, male or female. It’s not about gender, it’s about falling under the thrall of a sociopath. No one ever said women can’t be sociopaths too.
It’s inherent nonsense to suggest such a thing. There are PLENTY of female emotional abusers. It’s just more rare that they abuse their male partners. More often, it’s one of their children, or a step-child, a siblings, someone at work, a friend. Mostly, it’s one or more of their children.
Will Weston recently wrote an article about the parental emotional abuse he suffered at the hands of BOTH his parents and the gaslighting that accompanied it. I actually read it yesterday. He’s written about it before too, as have others.
So, some brave men are speaking out and finding healing. Feminists aren’t preventing that at all. I’m a feminist and I applaud both his courage and his compassion.
The truth is, emotional abuse is tricky. It operates by co-opting the victim into their own abuse. It’s that insideously manipulative. You don’t realize you’re being abused. You make excuses, and cover for your abuser. Happens every day. To men, to women, and to children.
Men don’t speak out publicly, that doesn’t mean they don’t speak out. Case in point, it’s you, his female friend, that is telling his story for him. He hasn’t spoken out about the abuse he suffered publicly. And that’s okay, it’s his choice. Frankly, I’m not sure you’re being the best of friends by airing his experience to make a cheap shot at feminists. Did you have his permission to tell his story? Did you even think to ask? If not, how are you any different than his abusive wife who stripped him of agency and robbed him of choice? Disrespected boundaries?
Maybe men don’t speak out publicly because they’ve watched what’s happened, too often, to women who do. Maybe they’re still processing. It takes years to deconstruct and rebuild yourself after emotional abuse. Maybe they don’t want to drag their children through it. Maybe they can’t or just don’t want to deal with the inevitable public gaslighting. Maybe they blame themselves for not walking away sooner. Why not? Women do. None of those reasons.....those very valid reasons for maintaining privacy........have a thing in the world to do with feminism.
You’re making a broad statement about feminism and male victims of emotional abuse that just doesn’t bear out.
Maybe you don’t know about men who speak out publicly because you haven’t looked for them. Though I’m sure they’ll be just thrilled to see how you used their trauma to throw feminists under the bus. How apropos. Exercising a little manipulation yourself?
