Ah. I understand now. I can't speak for everyone, of course, but consider that many of them meant it in the sense of building up your self esteem. They recognized that you felt lost and given where you came from, were concerned you were going to go back. Abusive security is still security after all. You said so yourself.

Reinforcing to you that you don't need a man was meant to bolster your confidence enough until your own feelings of self worth kicked back in and you could move forward.