Agree, though I wasn't looking for a resolution. It just is the way it is. And I've been on both sides od this because I did not have my daughter young. So I've been the single friend and the mom friend.
It's not like I don't get what you're saying.
The bald fact of the matter is babies are very consuming time and energy leeches for a while. That's just the nature of human infants. There's not really a compromise for that.
There's just tolerance and understanding, or the absence of it.
It can't be helped. It's no one's fault. It's not a failure on thr part of the moms for prioritizing their kids, though it may seem that way to single friends. It's not a failure on the part of single friends to not automatically adapt to the changed dynamics of the friendship, that they had no say in, though as I said earlier, it comes across that way a lot.
The fact is, this culture hates children and doesn't want them around, yet shames women for not having them or having them and not jailing yourself at home to keep them out of everyone else's presence.
And that's why motherhood is so isolating and harder than it need be in thr modern era when objectively, taking care of children has never been easier. It's never been this isolating. A lot of moms are cracking under the strain of the isolation. Younger women don't even want to face it.
I consider myself lucky. My daughter was a golden child as far as a lot of thr baby drama goes. So I did tote her around in a baby backpack thingy with me everywhere. Went about my life. Plus, I'm good alone. Always have been. So if her presence was a problem, we did something else.
I lost friends who I had let stay in my home and took care of when their worlds fell apart or gave significant chunks of money to. They weren't willing to make room.for my Urchling. Fine. Next time, they can find somewhere else to stay, somebody else to float them till they get it together.
And that's what I'd say. If the history of your friendship isn't worth making room or giving grace during those early years, then bow out now. Don't drag it out.
