Agree.

I did subvert the system, which would be why my kid is more or less okay and not struggling. Not that she doesn't have some mild anxieties and issues; she's still under twenty and stepping into adulting. But they're not paralyzing like I see in many of her cohort.

It was also more isolating than I anticipated it would be because we lived in a deeply comservative area and they don't like it when you do well outside the rules. You would be surprised by some of the flak I got for not providing appropriate struggle porn as a single mother to certain folks so they could feel better about their miserable lives.

I was supposed to be a pity dump so my 'betters' could feel superior. But there I was, with less money, less support, less of everything having and doing more than them. Not at my wits end. Laughing and playing with my kid on the playgrounds and where ever, no drama that somebody else didn't bring in, in a functional and thriving household, breaking every single mother statistic left, right, and sideways, except income which was mitigated in other ways.

I didn't get what I wanted to build as far as a network goes. Couldn't get anyone else permanently (more or less) on board. But we did get some rudimentary efforts of single parent pods. And yes, single dads were included and I'm not discounting the reality that sometimes it's the mom who's the flake.

But as far as how 'society' feels the need to weigh in on the state of kids today, 'society' has given dead beat dads, paternal deserters, and Peter Pan slackers making the most of weaponized incompetence each and every day while demonizing, villifying, pillorying, and razing mothers about fucking everything. For YEARS! All while making sure that every single thing that can be done to make the job harder and more punishing is rubber stamped for fast approval. Gotta punish those bitches, amirite?

So, as far as I'm concerned, 'society' can

1. Kiss my ass
2. Put up or shut the fuck up.
3. Muzzle Elon DustyAss before somebody burns it all down just to spite that bastard.

I'm not alone in that sentiment. Frankly, I'm not lying when I say there's some single dads doing the long hard haul by themselves with no support who feel the same way too.

Make no mistake. There's a lot of anger here. Pittint the feelings of a bunch of whiners who never showed up in the first place over those who have been in the trenches the whole time is not way to claim to have any kind of "good faith" about these conversations that need to be had. It's just pissing on people who are hurting and legit angry while acting like (universal) your, or who you're advocating for's shit don't stink. Lot of times, it's talking out of turn too.

Thanks for your thoughts here. Believe it or not, I did try to keep the rage here down. But this....I've got some thermonuclear rage here. These kids deserve better than what they got handed and I love her (mine) that much. I will not tolerate these bullshit narratives. They're just further gaslighting the kids and adding to their grief.

And yeah, that's a huge psrt of their depression. They're grieving and haven't been allowed to process that grief to pander to the marshmallow fluff feelings of those who never showed up in the first place.

That's cold.