4) sometimes attractions are instantaneous. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to consider if you’d like to date a guy or not after you’re aware they’re interested in you.
5) Sometimes you’re interested but there’s just other stuff going on. Relationships are energy intensive and women are expected to carry the majority of that burden, regardless of what men think they’re doing as work. Sometimes the timing is just bad/off.
6) Sometimes you, the guy, have an unsavory reputation you don’t know about. Like being a liar about intent or behaving dishonorably in a prior sexual interaction/relationship. Think dick pics, talking out of turn, stalking behavior, controlling behavior, and revenge porn there, that kinda thing. Or, you are related to, associated or affiliated with persons or organizations (certain fraternities, sports teams, churches, youth groups) that do. Like it or not, with the backlash against #MeToo, more and more of you will be judged by the company you keep. If you don’t like it, then you too should have spoken out against the violence women face living in a rape culture instead of tossing out never ending handfuls of crickets. That’s not personal, that’s just tough love. That’s where we are.
7) Sometimes what you think is you expressing obvious interest really isn’t obvious at all. Women aren’t mind readers any more than men are.
8) Sometimes what you think is expressing interest in dating and a relationships comes off as nothing more than a lame come on. Women aren’t toilet seats for your sexual urges.
9) Sometimes you’re very clear about wanting a relationship but she doesn’t because she’s not ready for one. So she turns you down because she doesn’t want to lead you on. She remembers you when she is thinking more along those lines because you made a favorable impression. Shes flirting to see if you’re still interested.
There’s as assumption in the article’s premise too, that the women in question know that you are now coupled when they flirt with you after having originally turned you down. I’m not sure that’s always a fair assumption to make. Even if they saw you with someone else (unless you’ve got your tongues down each other’s throats or something) it doesn’t automatically follow that you’re dating. Dating is not necessarily a relationship. Which brings me to two questions.
Why are you men having kittens because a girl flirts with you in the first place? Maybe she’s working up the courage to ask your status but is trying not to be weird about it. You know, you can just say you’re involved with someone but thanks anyway, right?
Secondly, like, what’s the time frame here? Within a week? A month? Six months? Why do you men always see that whole cat scratchy, claws out, tired old routine in every freaking thing we women do? You know that stereotype says a whole lot more about you men than us women, right? Because if it’s been like a week, you might be on to something maybe half the time. If it’s been a month or longer, I think it’s safe to say it’s far more likely that something other than jealousy because you now are with someone is going on. And truly, the possibilities are endless.
